Above: Desmond Collins. If they'd actually consulted with him, the movie wouldn't have sucked so much.
Check out Part 1 if you missed it!
I only scratched the surface of the stupidity contained in this documentary in Part 1. The first part of the video is largely an introduction. Part 1 set the stage for the stupid, and Part 2 delivers. Big Time.
The really disappointing thing is that this segment heavily features Desmond Collins of the Royal Ontario Museum. If they’d actually run the narration by Des Collins before they recorded it, they could have eliminated 99.99% of the stupid.
Let’s dive right into the blow-by-blow:
“When we think of fossils, we think of Dinosaurs…” (0:34)
No, we don’t. Maybe you do, but you’re an idiot.
“These are the armoured bugs Canadaspis, that once filled the Cambrian oceans. Believed to be the ancestor of many modern insects.” (1:33)
No, it’s not. There are some ongoing arguments as to how Canadaspis perfecta should be classified, but it is considered a crustaecean ancestor. Shrimp and lobsters… they aren’t insects. At least they got the phylum right – Canadaspis is an Arthropod.
“This five-eyed freak is Opabinia, another bug ancestor” (1:56)
Wrong. Not so much an ancestor as a very distant cousin, whose lineage split away from “the bugs” half a billion years ago. Arthropods and Opabinia have a common ancestor, but then again, so do humans and arthropods. More on this later.
“The only clues to the killer’s identity were a set of circular jaws, and several pairs of disembodied claws. But for years they had no idea what they belonged to. Then in the early ’90′s, Des lead a party to the Burgess Shale, which uncovered the first complete specimen … They could finally build a complete profile of the serial killer, a predator they called Anomalocaris…” (5:52)
I consider this to be the second biggest mistake in the whole movie. They completely ignores the fact that Harry Whittington reconstructed Anomalocaris in the ’80′s. Stephen Jay Gould was writing about Anomalocaris in the late ’80′s as well. This is a huge fail, which cuts the people who did the major work reconstructing Anomalocaris completely out of the story.
Plus, they pretend like Anomalocaris wasn’t named until the ’90′s. Jeebus!
“From the watching five-eyed scavengers like opabinia, to the monster predators like anomalocaris, right down to the Olenoides scurrying on the sea floor, the oceans at this time were dominated by one group of animals. The arthropods – the MEGA BUGS.” (8:43 – 0:10 of Part III)
This is the worst mistake the documentary makes, in my opinion. Neither Anomalocaris, nor Opabinia were Arthropods. The Olenoides trilobite was an arthropod, but considering it was a victim of the first two, it doesn’t fit the “MEGA-BUG” theme. I’ve modified one possible classification for Anomalocaris and Opabinia to demonstrate how they aren’t arthropods:
It’s not a very difficult concept to grasp. EPIC FAIL.
Here is the video for Part II:
Remember to comment. Nobody likes to watch a train wreck alone!